Quirky Missy

The creative child is the child who has survived. ~ Ursula K. Le Guin

Pride or Prejudice? | Life Is Simple

One of my all time favorite books is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Don’t believe me? I have almost all her works (completed ones).

I find her to be very observant to the minute details in life, human behaviors; a person who had constant arguments in her head about gender differentiation, and social class disparity.

Some say Jane had Asperger Syndrome. I guess we could never find out now.

Pride and Prejudice has a deep impact into my pattern of thoughts. Simple as they are, Jane aptly grouped our common behaviors and values into two vast groups of Pride, and Prejudice.

Life Is Simple (the predecessor of this blog derived from my name LIS), human isn’t.

If we had consideration and contemplation in the decisions that we make, would  they be leaning towards Pride or Prejudice? When we judge a person’s objective, are we fair on the matter, or prejudiced because of our pride?

We see charitable campaigns all the time. We hear the bystanders who do not support the cause criticize the participating artists of their hypocrisy and flaunting of their philanthropism.

I am confused. Some people suggest anonymity in charitable work in the name of nobility. How is it noble to carry out charitable work in complete silence and fail to inspire more people to follow suit?

In one of Oprah’s shows in her finale season, Oprah persuaded Mark Zuckerberg, founder of the social network – Facebook, to come forward instead of donating anonymously. I concur with Oprah (of course I do, she is one of the wisest and inspiring women in our generation and perhaps generations after!).

See, unless you are confident that the amount you are donating is more, or equal to what MAY be raised collectively from the individuals – and by that, I mean either nationwide or worldwide, depending on the scale of your campaign – otherwise, by donating anonymously, even if you are a multi-billionaire, you stop the possibility to grow the donation size by multiple folds than what you could possibly donate on your own.

I am generally objective-oriented, not necessarily result-driven; but for campaigns, I am result-driven, because I have set my objective to fetch a desired result (in that sense, I am still objective-driven).

Generally, I perceive life as a journey, a process from the beginning to the end. Our outcomes are the same – death, so why focus on the end and neglect the process? I know the outcome, I just don’t know when. My crafting business is just a chapter in this journey, the outcome with me in this business is no surprise either. There will be an end to every beginning. In view of that, the enlightenment is WHAT I do during this period that may make a difference.

My crafting blog and website receive decent visitors’ traffic, thus serve as a good platform for me to promote events and campaigns.

I try to run at least one charity campaign every year. I set it to my birthday month, October.

If you live a life like mine, vastly different from most others, you may then understand the constant questioning into my value of existence in this somewhat misfit world. If you have spent most of your life being disliked more than being liked, because you are different, you may then perhaps understand why I think celebrating my birthday is ridiculous; unless, there is something worth celebrating!

When we do charity work anonymously, is it because we think it is more noble to stay off the radar? Or is it because we care about what others may think negatively about us? I bet it is heavily weighted on the latter. People are quick to criticize and judge harshly.

In my opinion, the genuine nobility is to INSPIRE! Believe that there are better and stronger people than ourselves. Have faith that someone may be moved and inspired to do more and better than we do. This is not a competition, even if it is, it is a good one to compete to do better.

There are many reasons why I am not well-liked. One of them is that I am not quite a team player. When there was a donation card that went around the office, I was usually among the first to donate a larger sum. Other colleagues said that I ‘spoil the market’ for the rest; some commented that I was showing off. I think they may not be wrong. Was it pride that motivated me to do that? I may be more manipulative than you think. What normally happened was that my superiors who had bigger paychecks, felt intimidated and obliged to match or exceed the amount I donated. So, yes, pride is the motivation. As much as I cared about what others may think of me (or not, I am really unsure of that), the result of the action precedes the need to be popular. I think I understand why you don’t like me, even though I think I may actually like me if I were not me.

To help raise some money for a worthy cause, gives me a sense of worthiness to be part of this world that I have been trying very hard to fit into. Someone actually benefits from my existence, isn’t that something? What good is there to celebrate my birth if I were no good for anyone?

If only you have lived a life like mine, you would understand the struggles I have all my life. I am more comfortable in caring for the strangers whom I may never meet. There is no need to say thank you, and there is no need to reciprocate to that.

It has always been difficult to handle praises and thanks. The Pride and the Prejudice factors always come into play. They are like two highly skilled social dancers who dance their way around the head of people. Tact is not my forte, although I do have some ‘premium packs’ in my emergency bag, but they don’t always work. I prefer to go with being candid, and leave the rest to judge. I wish I could tell you I don’t care, but I know I do, because it does hurt to be misunderstood, again. I have learned to care less to what the others have to say, and care more about my conscience.

So, this year, I initiated a collective fundraiser with various independent designers to fund towards the Breast Cancer Awareness effort. It is not easy work, I can tell you that, but I can be quite a tireless campaigner – remember, I am very objective-oriented.

We are successful when we managed to touch even just one person. A two-time breast cancer survivor sent a private message through my facebook business page to share with me that it helps a lot for a patient to know that others care.

We often think stranger’s love doesn’t matter, think again. Cancer, is becoming common, but no matter how prepared you may think you are, when cancer hits, it hits bad. Imagine this, suddenly, all the things you plan to do in the next 5 years might never be realized; the beautiful wedding that you have imagined in your head for your little girl may be a far-fetched dream; you, being the strong person is now weak and frail and need to be cared for; you can’t bear to see yourself in the mirror anymore; the bright cheerful path ahead has now turned dim and painful.

I can never imagine what is it like; I don’t know for sure if it mattered to the patient that I genuinely care; I can only hope to do what I can.

Don’t let your pride or prejudice cloud your judgement. It is fine if you cannot afford to support charity now, but you can always afford to share the love and help push a campaign. Only by putting ourselves out there, there is hope that someone will see us. Be noticed!

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