Perfectly Imperfect

The goal is not to be perfect; the goal is to be accepted for the imperfections.

Christmas, the Beginning of the End

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Christmas, to me, signifies the beginning of the end; a new beginning when the end draws nigh. The religious background aside, Christmas is well celebrated in Singapore – a large city with rich and varied cultures, where racial and religious harmonies have been the highest priorities since her independence.

When I was a child, I may not have believed that Santa Claus existed, but I enjoyed the fairy tale nonetheless, and for at least once (or more times) when I looked at the moon, I couldn’t help but wondered if I might spot Santa riding on the sleigh drawn by the cute reindeer, just like we saw in movies and cartoons.

Fairy tale is important, I think. It allows the innocent mind to imagine the unrealistic and unreachable. Fairy tale, often scales the creative opportunities and spaces in the child’s mind. There is no hurry for reality, we will get to that, some day, one way or another. Fairy tale is the first stop as a child, to leap to the magical land called Imagination! Dreams begin there.

Under normal circumstances, ‘Imagination’ is possibly the best gift bestowed on the human minds.

I made those Amigurumi reindeer toys; I have not seen any in reality, but I am ordinary that way. I have the similar impression like many others, of what a Christmas Reindeer looks like. Imagination serves me well in many ways. Imagination is why I am where I am now.

I was an awkward and alone child. I didn’t play with other kids, heck, I asked them to leave and even locked them out. I spent a great deal – still do – of time entertaining myself with the enjoyable imagination. Unlike human being, imagination doesn’t hurt me, it doesn’t judge and always understand. Imagination, takes me to places anyone could ever dream to go. Imagination has been and will always be one of my key survival tools – I imagined people were always kind; I imagined they didn’t dislike me; I imagined I was normal; I imagined a path in the darkness of despair.

I think, therefore I am.

~ René Descartes

Often, we seek validation of our existence from the outside, perhaps if we look intrinsically, we will find what we were looking for.

I liked Christmas as a child. It is a public holiday, so we didn’t have to go to school. My mother brought us to buy new clothes. We were going to have many presents, and my late paternal grandmother’s house stood a giant sized Christmas tree, all lit up with pretty lights and under it, presents that bore our names. I would still love Christmas, if it doesn’t involve too many people. Oddly, my perfect Christmas involves pretty things, subtracting the crowd and human interaction. Small talks are difficult.

Maybe, I will have a nice Christmas tree next time. I will try not to burn down the apartment while attempting the roast turkey. Put on the Christmassy music. Make some really nice cookies; or buy them when baking fails. Turn on the air-conditioner in full blast. Put on a shawl, sit back, and just… Imagine! Or, we could just travel to a cold place and have a white Christmas. Ha!

Growing up, I spent most of the Christmas days working. Perhaps it was a subconscious effort in avoiding the family occasion? I often didn’t mind working on public holidays, while the other colleagues took the day off to spend the day with friends and family.

Christmas is still one of my favorite holidays.

Are you ready for the end and new beginning of the year yet?

3 comments for “Christmas, the Beginning of the End

  1. Belinda Lee
    November 25, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    Beautiful account of your impression of Christmas!

    • November 25, 2012 at 12:44 pm

      Christmas is beautiful, and hopeful. If we had a lousy year, it is a relief that the year is drawing nigh, and we can now look forward to a new beginning. If we had a good year, we hit the glasses of champagne, and be thankful for it. The lights lit up the hope of the desperates; the colors brighten the mood of the depressed. All in all, Christmas is a day of hope! 😀

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