Perfectly Imperfect

The goal is not to be perfect; the goal is to be accepted for the imperfections.

Dream Dictionary | Book Recommendation

I dream every night or every time I sleep; except for 2 naps in my life. Dreams are part of my life. There was a period of my life that I experienced marathon of recurring dreams over a span of more than 15 years. Recurring dreams are usually related to unresolved business. It was dreadful, because I dreamt of heart-wrenching breakup, and the ultimate pain of suffering in silence of being misunderstood. I woke up as though the breakup just happened.

A friend helped pick out a book during a book fest. ‘Dream Dictionary’ by Antonia Beattie. It was the year when the occurrences and frequencies of the recurring dream peaked.

Personally, I believe that dreams are best interpreted by the dreamer, since every ‘element’ in the dream may mean drastically differently from one person to another. The book, however, provides a guide to the generalized meaning to your dream, including tips in preparing for dreaming. You think it’s funny, but if you are a novice in dreaming, you tend to lose grip of the contents of the dreams. A veteran, like myself, is able to ‘record’ the highlights of the dreams while dreaming. I know, it’s madness, but it’s true.

The night before, I dreamt a long dream, a complete episode from the beginning of my sleep till I woke.

I dreamt of a male ex-colleague who became a very close friend. We weren’t speaking much now. It happens. It is inconvenient to have a good friend of different gender when one of us, or both of us are married (not to each other). Oddly, I don’t really have that problem speaking with a male friend, and not having the husband drowned in the jar of jealousy; vice versa, the husband goes out with female friends and clients, and I am fine with that. Women (normal, unlike me), are usually more susceptible to jealousy out of insecurities derived from various factors.

It was a long dream, and I remember most of the details – I get it, I am weird that way – but to cut the story short, it was a familiar dream of mistrust, almost a betrayal, and a deep sense of helplessness. It was a dream where I was (like always) in a passive position where super dramas evolved around what I didn’t do but was assumed to have done. I didn’t defend myself, like I wouldn’t in my waking life. I was just there watching all the misunderstandings unfolded before me, and bizarrely came to a full circle when the friend finally saw the truth. In the end, I said, ‘The truth makes it easier for me to move forward from this point; it is not any easier to accept an apology just because he realizes it now.’. There is a lot of truth about that statement, at least for me. It is a motto I live by.

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So, I flipped to the page of ‘betrayal’, since that is the closest to the highlight of the dream. It is explained that I am lacking self-confidence at the moment. Well, I guess I always have a deep inferior complex, and it’s also true that my ‘distorted’ eye (bad eye infection) and bad skin allergies may have impacted on my self-confidence.

To explore deeper, it could be a trailing residual emotion from the disagreement that I had with the husband. It’s not so much about him, but the incident evokes past memories of all sorts of misunderstandings I had experienced with friends. Unresolved frustration is a powerful emotion that doesn’t go away easily.

Buying guide:

I buy most of my tangible books on The Book Depository with free worldwide shipping (be prepared that the shipping time can take up to 3 weeks from UK). They have very wide collection of books.

+ Dream dictionary – Choose from a wide collection of books with similar titles, include the one that I have.

+ Dream Interpretation/Theories – Again, I am quite an experienced dreamer, and I am also trained in Counseling, did I mention that I read up quite a bit on Psychology titles too? Counseling is built upon the fundamentals of Psychology, counseling is heavily weight on the methods and the skills; while Psychology is based heavily on theories, studies, and analysis. I am more appealed to theories.

 

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