My name is Lis, I am 2nd year Psychology student in Murdoch University. I am a girl in a woman’s body, I’ll tell you why… I titled this post as ‘unordinary’ because it is. Did I plan to be in Perth 5 years ago? No. I thought I would be working to help build my (ex)husband’s career and a comfortable…
For most people, there are the public and private personas – how you behave and be perceived in private and in public. I have two personas too, but not differentiated by these two categories. Some Friends Said… When I was being assessed for Asperger’s, now subsumed under Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), I sought out my old friends from my childhood and…
I don’t really watch Chinese shows or other Asian TV shows, but when I do watch, they are usually in the category of pugilistic films, or with strong historical extracts. I am attracted to the elaborated costumes and setups, and the use of proper Mandarin for that era. Imagine it as the Chinese version of Victorian times, the way the sentences were…
Tony Attwood, best known for his knowledge and expertise in Asperger’s Syndrome, quoted, “You don’t suffer from Asperger’s, you suffer from other people.”. He is right, I don’t suffer from Asperger’s, I suffer from people, and by people, I mean ALL people, on or not on the autism spectrum.
Finding the silver lining and a positive perspective is not to say that I am not hurt or disappointed; it only means that life is tough, I didn’t choose it, but here I am, so I am just trying to make the best out of it. We all should.
Once in a while, logic is put at the back burner, and emotions take over resulting in the overwhelmingly deep sense of loneliness deriving from a collision of rational reasoning and engulfing emotions. An overdrive of emotions yet leaving a sense of emptiness.
The dichotomy of emotions and rationality works like a switch, and there is also an emergency trip switch. Overwhelming and confusing emotions set off anxiety, and anxiety trips the emergency switch to high rational mode. In order to maintain functionality, we talk facts and logic, which can be unacceptable. Imagine this, when someone in your life dies, the only thing you could do was to talk about normality of life cycle – birth and death. It’s a way to explain the particular event – death – to make sense of what is happening; but it would be considered as highly insensitive and inappropriate. Our difference in coping methods divides us in times like this. There should be no right or wrong way to cope, yet our response would be considered offending.
Often times, we thought of broken heart as one of the most inconsolable pains in human experiences. I won’t refute that. I realised that it is not the moment when your heart was broken that is most painful; it is the picking up the pieces that hurts most.
Pain has a way to distort our rational thoughts. Shall I say, cognitive dissonance? What we know is that the relationship was once good. We felt happy. The same thoughts that once put a smile to our face, now flow the stream of tears down our cheeks. We are suddenly convinced that those are bad thoughts, and we adjust our behaviours to align with the new feelings.
Sometimes, we confuse missing someone with hating someone. It is okay to miss someone that we may never have in our life anymore. Let the truth be truth because it is sad to have to lie to ourselves.