Quirky Missy

The creative child is the child who has survived. ~ Ursula K. Le Guin

Category: Interpersonal

Loneliness

Once in a while, logic is put at the back burner, and emotions take over resulting in the overwhelmingly deep sense of loneliness deriving from a collision of rational reasoning and engulfing emotions. An overdrive of emotions yet leaving a sense of emptiness.

The dichotomy of emotions and rationality works like a switch, and there is also an emergency trip switch. Overwhelming and confusing emotions set off anxiety, and anxiety trips the emergency switch to high rational mode. In order to maintain functionality, we talk facts and logic, which can be unacceptable. Imagine this, when someone in your life dies, the only thing you could do was to talk about normality of life cycle – birth and death. It’s a way to explain the particular event – death – to make sense of what is happening; but it would be considered as highly insensitive and inappropriate. Our difference in coping methods divides us in times like this. There should be no right or wrong way to cope, yet our response would be considered offending.

Picking up the broken pieces

Often times, we thought of broken heart as one of the most inconsolable pains in human experiences. I won’t refute that. I realised that it is not the moment when your heart was broken that is most painful; it is the picking up the pieces that hurts most.

Pain has a way to distort our rational thoughts. Shall I say, cognitive dissonance? What we know is that the relationship was once good. We felt happy. The same thoughts that once put a smile to our face, now flow the stream of tears down our cheeks. We are suddenly convinced that those are bad thoughts, and we adjust our behaviours to align with the new feelings.

Sometimes, we confuse missing someone with hating someone. It is okay to miss someone that we may never have in our life anymore. Let the truth be truth because it is sad to have to lie to ourselves.

Asperger’s Diary – Sell Online with Our Talents

Many of us suffer from low self-esteem and self-confidence. Many of us produce brilliant artwork, but only a small handful of us take the plunge to put a price tag on our work.

You can defend on a prided high ground, but I don’t buy it. Don’t tell me that ‘selling’ your art is ‘cheap’ or demeaning. When you are 25 years old, and you are still depending on the State handouts or pocket money from parents, and you have to ask your parents to buy you things that you want, tell me again that you don’t want to be financially and personally independent.

Asperger’s Diary – Neurotypical Sibling

The Impossible Possibility – What if…

There were times when I indulged myself to the ‘what ifs’. What if, my sister had Asperger’s like me too? Would we be more alike? Would we share similar interests? Would we be able to understand each other better?

Now, have we also considered that perhaps my sister entertained that thought too? What if I were normal like her? Would we have played dress-up together? Would we have talked about boys to each other? Would we have gone shopping (we did, but not exactly most fun for either of us – she is very fickle minded, I am very decisive, and I hate window shopping, or shopping at all) and had more lunches together? Would we be the dynamic duo, whereby it was us against the world?

Asperger’s Diary – Rumination in Bubble World

I live in a bubble world of my own. I crave to connect with world out there; I desire for a soulmate who is the same and we will blow a bigger bubble to encompass our individual bubbles. When the bigger bubble is safe enough, we burst our bubbles to be one. Poetic, isn’t it? Therapy  Like my autism, seeking…

Asperger’s Diary – Train Myself to Train Other NTs

The Keen Passion I have always wanted to study psychology. It’s no surprise. Long before I was formally diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome Disorder, I have always knew I am painfully different (I am trying to make a distinction here to dismiss the trendy ‘different’ used by people who desperately want to be unique). Being different has been painful, because the majority…

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