Uninterested vs Losing Hope I have reached the same point again that I am seemingly uninterested in romantic relationship. I don’t think it has anything to do with losing hope this time – how nice, I get to discern this time, that time, and all those times! – it has a lot to do with the people I am inclined…
The Guinea Pig You know, for some odd reasons, I have been the perfect guinea pig for all sorts of ‘newly introduced’ or ‘revamped’ educational projects. Throughout my formal and higher education, I almost always landed on the ‘first time’ projects so the academic segments have been fully uprooted, reshuffled and shoved back to the unfitting hole in the ground,…
I am working on a new design – see the sketch – and one thing led to another (as always!), I see a relationship between time and food, more accurately, the duration of our life span and concept of food. Abundance vs. Scarcity When we were young, we made (probably still making) the same mistake in assuming that we still…
Once in a while, logic is put at the back burner, and emotions take over resulting in the overwhelmingly deep sense of loneliness deriving from a collision of rational reasoning and engulfing emotions. An overdrive of emotions yet leaving a sense of emptiness.
The dichotomy of emotions and rationality works like a switch, and there is also an emergency trip switch. Overwhelming and confusing emotions set off anxiety, and anxiety trips the emergency switch to high rational mode. In order to maintain functionality, we talk facts and logic, which can be unacceptable. Imagine this, when someone in your life dies, the only thing you could do was to talk about normality of life cycle – birth and death. It’s a way to explain the particular event – death – to make sense of what is happening; but it would be considered as highly insensitive and inappropriate. Our difference in coping methods divides us in times like this. There should be no right or wrong way to cope, yet our response would be considered offending.
Time concept changes for the person in the meltdown, and the person waiting. This post illustrates the differences and the possible outcomes. Some outcomes are undesired, and permanent. Meltdown is detrimental to any kind of relationship.
We must not confuse understanding the essence of the meltdown with the instinctive reactions to it. By illuminating the adverse effects of meltdowns, I hope to raise awareness in preventing meltdown than to manage it. Every meltdown can be potentially the last one because practise doesn’t make perfect.
I made an entry to the blog yesterday about self-discovery and recognising the puppeteering culprit that strung my hands to self-sabotage.
I ended the post with a note of uncertainties.
What I am going to share with you now is the flip side of fear. For the first time in the longest time, I start to feel unafraid again. I found myself smiling into sleep and woke with an awkward smile. It was not about the dream; but a full sweep of affectionate love.
See, by identifying and acknowledging the crippling fear that was haunting me, was like having finally found the hidden panic bomb and disarming it.
The moment I fully recognise what was paralysing me, it no longer has control over me. It’s not a miracle that I am talking about. It’s psychologically possible to turn that switch off, with the prerequisite of locating the panic button first.
Finding that button, is the first step into taking ownership of the emotion and fixing it.