Perfectly Imperfect

The goal is not to be perfect; the goal is to be accepted for the imperfections.

Category: Memory Lane

The childhood stories, happy and sad.

Humming a Sad Tune in the Dark

She now silently hopes, “choose me, please choose me.” Feeling like an unwanted pair of worn, torn shoes, she is never the chosen one. This is what betrayal does to a person. It leaves a person broken beyond repair. The crave to be wanted grows to become an irrational fear. She hums a sad tune in the dark, the melancholic melody echoes in the night; and forgotten at first light of the day. Life goes on, and on one knows who hummed the sad, long tune.

Study Plan – Neuroplasticity

Redefining Limitations My limitations defined by my disability are likely to be the secret ingredients to my ‘success’ story. When I say ‘success’, I mean staying alive and generally well. The closest friends and family who knew me since I was a child would describe me as rigid, stubborn, disciplined, and determined. Although I am only diagnosed with Asperger’s in…

The Different Personas

For most people, there are the public and private personas – how you behave and be perceived in private and in public. I have two personas too, but not differentiated by these two categories. Some Friends Said… When I was being assessed for Asperger’s, now subsumed under Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), I sought out my old friends from my childhood and…

Asperger’s Diary – Neurotypical Sibling

The Impossible Possibility – What if…

There were times when I indulged myself to the ‘what ifs’. What if, my sister had Asperger’s like me too? Would we be more alike? Would we share similar interests? Would we be able to understand each other better?

Now, have we also considered that perhaps my sister entertained that thought too? What if I were normal like her? Would we have played dress-up together? Would we have talked about boys to each other? Would we have gone shopping (we did, but not exactly most fun for either of us – she is very fickle minded, I am very decisive, and I hate window shopping, or shopping at all) and had more lunches together? Would we be the dynamic duo, whereby it was us against the world?

Asperger’s Diary – The Aftermath of Diagnosis

The aftermath of a formal diagnosis for Asperger’s may bring out stages of emotional upheaval that we are not being prepared for. This is my story.

Perhaps only the people (especially the adults) on the autism spectrum could understand the importance of an official diagnosis. No matter how certain are we about our traits matching the described symptoms of being on the spectrum; despite the tons of ‘reliable’ online tests we take (and continue to take*) to validate our suspicion, we will never be 100% satisfied on our personal (intensive) researches and findings. We will always need solid proofs, and official acknowledgement and recognition. We cannot leave things to chances.

Effects of Low Self-Esteem

Self-Discovery Self-discovery is a lifelong journey. We may never fully understand ourselves. We may expand knowledge acquisition which may enhance our skills in assessing our life experiences more effectively, and provide perceptive insights into our life and behaviors; we may never completely comprehend the full aspects of life because being the ‘being’ is an evolutionary motion. We change from time…

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