The first rule of love is that there is no warranty. Love is not a calculated business. The reward comes from the ability to spend all the emotional currency for the day all at once every day on the same person. If we get to live another day, the emotional bank will be refreshed with new credits, and we get to spend it all again on the love of our life.
She now silently hopes, “choose me, please choose me.” Feeling like an unwanted pair of worn, torn shoes, she is never the chosen one. This is what betrayal does to a person. It leaves a person broken beyond repair. The crave to be wanted grows to become an irrational fear. She hums a sad tune in the dark, the melancholic melody echoes in the night; and forgotten at first light of the day. Life goes on, and on one knows who hummed the sad, long tune.
I met someone recently. He is kind, romantic, gentle, sensitive, caring and probably loving. We cross each other’s path not to fall in love with each other, but to give each other the most essential and helpful tools to repair ourselves. This is perhaps another kind of love.
Be patient, the younger me. Hold on to your heart. Allow time for the men to demonstrate their capability and honour their words. Give them time to show who they say they are before giving them your heart. Wait instead, for the boys to become men, and men to become dependable and reliable people.
We live in a delusion of a promised future, there is no promised future to cash in because future never promises. It is just a mirage that we fabricate to allow us to stretch the present moment. It is an imagined safety net to shield the genuine existential fear. We tend to take the present for granted and assume that tomorrow will always come. Learn to be a child again; to be excited and curious.
The weather is taking a cooler turn, and I thought it would be such a good idea to take a mini “exploration” into the forest-ish trail to clear my head for a bit. So, I am clad in my favorite red jacket (which is my only jacket as I decided to leave all my thick warm coats behind during my transit in Singapore…